I’m sad today.

today was one of my bad days.

I lowercased all of that because thats my mood right now, lowercase, sad, gloomy, uninspired.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I have depression. If I haven’t mentioned it then I will now. I have depression.

I have good days and bad days. I’m on medication and I do have more good days then bad days now, but today is a bad day.

My ratio of bad days are like 1:30 days a month. So only really one bad day every once in a while.

But unfortunately today is that day.

And what sucks the most is I knew it was going to happen, I sensed it last night before I went to bed. I felt the black dog coming closer to me. (I like to describe depression as a scary black dangerous dog.)

I tried everything too.

I went to church.

I got coffee.

I did my hair.

I looked cute.

I played with makeup.

Nothing.

So here I am, blogging. And it’s kind of helping. I feel like I’m actually talking to a friend. You guys are my friends by the way. All 51 of you are the bomb. Thanks for being my friend, all by choice.

But I did make a video today and I wanted to share it with you!

Here is the link!

PRODUCTS I REGRET BUYING

I don’t have a professional camera, and whatnot so don’t judge the quality.

Actually, don’t judge in general. It’s rude and nothing but heartbreaking for the person who is being judged.

I took this from tumblr:

Do you think God ever gets sad? Like, “What do you mean, you don’t love yourself? I worked so hard on you….”

I think He does. I know He worked on me and I am His, but I think He also knows that I can’t help this feeling right now.

I’m learning to love myself. Just not today.

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5 thoughts on “I’m sad today.

  1. Simply beautiful thoughts, wonderfully expressed. I know from experience what it is like to be in a pit of depression. One thing that has helped me is reading or listening to the Psalms. David was one who struggled through despair and it led him to greater praise. I will be praying for you.

    Like

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