Mom

She’s 5’1″, but she likes to say she’s 5’3″ even though it’s obvious she isn’t.

She’s often annoyingly perky. So gosh darn perky. It’s like she never put her cheerleading days behind her.

She’s blonde. Well, she’s gray, but she pays money to become blonde. (although I told her once I’m done with school I’ll do her hair for free.) Its the least I could do considering she brought me into the world free of charge.

She cries so much. It’s on a whole other level. Us women cry, and we cry often. BUT THIS WOMAN CRIES ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. Bachelor season finale – cries. Michael Jackson died a million years ago -cries.

She doesn’t like coffee, she likes the smell, but refuses to drink it.

She used to garden. She had a big garden, and she was good at it.

She cuddles. She always wants to cuddle. It’s a good thing she had a second child because her and Braxton were made to cuddle, my dad and I not so much.

She spoils the dogs, but she’s secretive about it.

She’s a cradle robber. My dad was a baby when she married him, she’s a whole 3 years older than him.

She thinks wine is a fruit because it came from grapes. She prefers white wine. Red is too sweet.

She loves celebrity gossip/news.

She’s a nurse.

She gets very excited about sports even though all she watches is the Super Bowl, Olympics, and my brothers XC meets. She cheers louder than anyone.

Did I mention she cries a lot?

She worries. She called me upset a few days ago because I hadn’t informed her if I had been locking my doors at night, thus she spent all night worrying.

Her favorite color is yellow. Which matches her perky personality.

She likes to buy lawn ordainments.

She’s not very strong, in fact she’s hilariously weak, she can’t lift much.

She also can’t throw. Often times she throws something and it lands behind her.

She shops, it’s a passion of hers.

She loves church.

She is a million different things, she is my mother. And I can’t wait to be just like her when I grow up.

I need a moment.

Flashback to October 17, 2014.

Technically October 18, 2014.

About 12:30am.

Picture this,

me…

crying hysterically in the dorm bathroom on the phone with my friend saying “I can’t do this anymore.”

Picture me so upset that I got sick, and allowed myself to be sick for the following three days.

I never left my dorm. I hated that place, it was a never-ending anxiety attack. I woke up sweating, I was always calling my mother.

I had no one, I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, I just sat there.

It was like I was a living, breathing body, but what made me, “me” was not there anymore.

Isn’t depression and anxiety, fun?

Gosh all those tumblr posts that romanticize depression/anxiety sure have it wrong.

Fun fact, it isn’t beautiful, it isn’t poetic, it’s scary as hell.

Living with depression is complicated and confusing. One second you’re fine, then the next the “black cloud” appears and you almost forget that there are good days.

There are good days though.

Fast forward to January 6, 2015.

I’m still in the dark place, I’m still sad.

But I have these two amazing grandparents who love me. They loved me so much, they took me to the doctor’s and made sure I was prescribed medication for depression.

A week later I got a job, then another one.

A couple of weeks later I started to notice that there were more good days than bad days.

I started to realize that life isn’t meant to be lived in a “dark cloud” it’s meant to be lived with more good days than bad.

Yeah, there are good days, and bad days, but more often than not, they are good days.

Continuing onto May 16, 2015. I move into my first apartment.

It’s cute, and tiny, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I go to sleep that night calm. I am not worried about the future, I am confident about the future.

I don’t have the same feeling as I did my first night at college. I am calm, happy, optimistic, and sure.

Present day: June 14, 2015

11:00pm

I have cosmetology school orientation tomorrow and I can’t freaking wait. All I want to do is meet new people, and make new best friends, and goof off with them, and be the person that my Creator intended for me to be.

The whole point of this post is to basically say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may start off as a pitch, black, scary tunnel, but there is a light.

So whether you’re in the midst of the darkness, seeing the light, or have been in the light for a while now, just know that God didn’t make us to have more bad days than good. He made us to do His work, and use our talents to honor and glorify Him.

He didn’t make us to be scared, depressed people. He loves us too much for us to be anything less than awesome, and glorifying.

I hope you enjoyed this post.

I wanted to give a special thank you to my grandparents, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m not sure I’d be here at all in all honesty. No combination of 26 letters could describe how much I love you, and how grateful I am to have you in my life. Thank you for never once giving up on me, and always encouraging me to follow my dreams.

Have a good night!!

I’ll tell you all about school asap!!

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Home Sweet Home

Here she is, my first place. With all its beautiful 1970’s wallpaper, sticky flooring, and fluorescent lighting.

This is the view from the front door.

To the left of the couch is my entertainment center:

This is what’s on my book shelves.

    

Kitchen:

  

This is supposed to be a laundry room, but I don’t have a washer and dryer so its my makeup and hair room:

  

My room/closet.

  

bathroom:

I hope you enjoyed my little post about my first place.

Nice to meet you, Caitlyn Jenner 

I really like this blog post and wanted to share with you guys.

It’s about Caitlyn Jenner. So if you hate the family, don’t read, don’t waste your time, or comment rude things just to start an argument.

Many people are saying things like “She isn’t brave to do that, men fighting overseas are brave.” and to that I say, there are many levels of bravery and yes fighting overseas is very brave and I am thankful everyday there are men and women out there who have the heart to do such an awesome thing.

But in todays day in age being yourself and accepting who you are is quite a brave thing to do, considering how the world keeps telling us to be anything but who we are.

Here’s some things I think are brave:
swimming with sharks
walking down the streets of Chicago past 4:30pm
going to the store in pajamas. (Okay this one is just stupid)
going to war
coming out
quitting your job, and telling the prick of a boss where to stick it
flying
putting yourself in danger to save someone else

So whether you love him because he won the decathlon, hate her because she was a him, or just flat out don’t care I wanted to share this blog post, because its pretty much exactly what I was thinking, I just didn’t know how to say it.

Also you should follow this girl, she does one heck of a blog post and I hope I can get a good as her eventually.

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When Vanity Fair released their exclusive cover photos of Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) Jenner today, my mind was blown. The first words out of my mouth were simply, “she is beautiful!” I was in awe. Part of me of course had to give myself a moment to take it all in, but in a good way. It makes me happy to see other people happy, and if this is the life that Bruce has been waiting his whole life to live than everyone should respect and embrace Caitlyn. It takes a lot of courage, honesty, and grace to make such a public and exposed transition like this, especially being in the direct eye of the media. None of us know what it feels like to wakeup every single day wishing you were someone else, and it makes me happy that Caitlyn can now finally wakeup feeling at home in her own…

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I Saw My Dad Today.

The title has absolutely nothing to do with my blog post. But I did see my dad today, he was in town and stopped by my work.

I also moved since the last time we chatted, which is my excuse for not blogging. I’m sure I’ll have another excuse for the next time I don’t blog in a while. When in all honesty I just need to face the fact that I am just a bad blogger and should be shunned by the blogsphere. (please don’t shun me. *insert fingers crossing*)

Today… while tonight, at 10:10 pm I wanted to share with you my jewelry collection. I would like to add a little disclaimer and say by no means am I trying to brag, and all that other stuff you have to say or else people get mad. I just like shiny things.

Remember folks, Diamonds are a girls befriend. Even if the diamonds are as fake as Dolly Parton’s breast.

Okay here it is.

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This necklace says “Dogs aren’t my whole life the make my life whole” Then it has my dogs name which is, Al. It also has a paw, a cross, and a heart.

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These are the rings I have at the moment. I’ve lost of few of them in the move. The big sparkly one in the back is actually a turtle. Love him.

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I love watches. People think I spent a lot on my watches but in all honesty they were 12.50 at American Eagle.

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Sorry this photo is blurry. I don’t have many bracelets. Actually these are mostly bangles. Hey! who doesn’t love loud fun jewelry?!?!

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“Earrings. Beautiful earrings. Beautiful gorgeous earrings for pierced ears” -Earrings Which was my favorite book growing up, I still have it, well, whats left of it. I had more hoops as well and they got lost in transition.

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I love necklaces. Its a cheap and cute way to spice up any top.

Some of my favorite necklaces:

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Favorite bracelet

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Favorite rings

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This ring is from my great grandmother. and I wear it almost everyday. Its so pretty.

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I mean look at it. It’s a flippin bird. I should wear it on my middle finger and give people “the bird”

My favorite piece by far is the one that has Al’s name on it. Me living 1.5 hours from him kills my heart.

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My soulmate.