So I’ve been on this whole “self-seeking” journey these past few months.
I like to say that I’m dating myself.
“I’ve been single for a while now, and I must say, it’s going very well. Like it’s working out… I think I’m the one.” -Anonymous
I don’t want to date anyone else but myself for now.
That way, the only person that can break my heart is me. And I know what it felt like last time to have a broken heart so I probably won’t.
But if my heart does break again, then I only have myself to blame.
This is not to say I won’t be going on any more awful dates ever again. It just means that I don’t want to date right now.
It’s too time consuming and emotional. I am not looking for emotions at this time. I’m literally emotionally unavailable.
I’m so content at this time in my life, I am too scare to let a boy come in, cause a ruckus, mess things up, and leave.
I’m scared to love again at this point, and thats fine. I really don’t want to love. It’s overrated.
To be honest, when I look back on my past relationship I just think he put me through Hell and I called it love. Because no matter how much I thought I loved Calvin, the only thing I learned in that relationship was what love wasn’t.
- Love isn’t tears 4/7 days a week.
- It isn’t worrying that he overdosed on some laced form of weed if you haven’t heard from him in three days.
- It’s not begging him to stay, because you’re afraid to be alone.
- It isn’t torture.
- Get it through your head. Love isn’t tragic or torture or some depressing love poem. It’s not an episode of Grey’s Anatomy or The Titanic.
However; Love is:
- Grandma and grandpa who met when they were like 2 and never loved anyone else.
- laughing until you cry 4/7 days a week
- it’s arguments, but not arguments that end in him storming out, smoking a joint, then coming back higher that a kite on Mt. Kilimanjaro
- It’s simple. And annoying. Because let’s face it, boys are aggravating, and girls are obnoxious.
- Love isn’t Hell. We just all want love so badly we will label it whenever we get a slight chance.
So, maybe someday I will find love, or maybe someday Paul George (indian pacers basketball player) will realize I’m his soulmate. As for now though, I am to stubborn, and happy, to risk a dumb boy coming into my life and messing with my head.
I really hope Paul George realizes I’m his soulmate soon. If he realized that, I would get ready for love real quick.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got to say about this icky love shizzzz.
Bye! ❤ ❤