Sundays

It was one of those “movie Sundays” today. You know the kind where its rainy, foggy, and you feel like you need to be drinking tea, reflecting on some guy who broke your heart, and listening to music on a record player? It was that kind of day.

I didn’t do any of that though. But I feel like that’s what I would have been doing if I was in a movie. I think the movie would be called “Sundays with Selina” or something like that.

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Just so you know. It is now ten pm, and I started this post exactly at 6:30pm. I got distracted by “Undercover Boss”.

I came on here though to ask you guys something.

Would you please recommend some good books for me to read? I’ll read anything except over dramatized romance novels.

All I wanted to do today was read, but I had no books that struck my interest. They were all books I had read in high school. You know the kind, the cliché, rebel-guy-sweeps-good-girl-off-feet-and-they-live-happily-ever-after-even-though-all-odds-were-against-them, type of books.

I’m looking for something with substance. They can be classic authors, popular authors, series, unheard of authors. I’d love some ideas.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got.

Hope to hear from you guys soon!

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You can get more of these cute designs by CurlyGirlDesign.com

 

 

 

 

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I’ll figure it out

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I am 20 and a half and I do not wish to have all the answers right now, if ever.

Just because I’m trying to figure out some things in my life, doesn’t mean I’m looking for comments or opinions on how I should or shouldn’t go about things.

I will figure it out on my own.

I am 20.

I do not have an older sibling who got to show me the way, one to be the guinea pig, and learn from their mistakes. In fact, I am the sibling that my sibling got to learn from. I get to be the guinea pig.

Which is fine, I do not mind playing the roll of the “rebellious, black sheep, learn the hard way,” child. I think when you’re the oldest you just come to terms with the fact that you have to teach yourself how to do certain things, and your baby siblings look like prized positions while you… don’t.

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My little brother is 17 and has multiple full ride scholarship offers. He is smart, athletic, 6’2″, “cool” (he’s cool to the other awkward 17 year olds in high school, and to himself I’m sure), and can do no wrong in my family’s eye.

It’s funny how we come from the exact same blood, but are two completely different people.

I was average in high school, by no means were full rides knocking on my door. I golfed in high school, but only to get out of gym class. I am 5’2″, and in high school I had friends, but I wasn’t “super hip.” And of course, I’m always being yelled at for something by someone in my family.

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Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be more proud of my little sibling. He is amazingly smart, and I can’t wait to see where he goes in life. I am his biggest fan and will always have that kids back.

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I’m not saying everything changed for me when I got out of high school and into the real world, but…. everything changed for me when I got out of high school and into the real world.

You start to develop your own opinions, and sometimes those opinions differ from your parents. And that is a-okay. You’re allowed to become your own person; however, sometimes becoming your own person requires a lot of annoying lectures from people who tell you they know best.

I’ve yet to figure out how to handle annoying, unwanted lectures nicely, and without rolling my eyes.

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Families are amazing and I love mine to no end. I’m just frustrated with everyones input 24/7.

This week I finally made the decision to go to therapy. Now don’t applaud me yet, I’m only going so my family will stop telling me “you should go to therapy,” every other second.

I have nothing against therapy, in fact, I’m actually open to the idea of liking it, and I’m starting to look forward to my first appointment. The idea of having a complete stranger listen to my problems, and then insurance pays for it, sounds nice.

I just wish people would stop telling me how to do every single move I make. Seriously, three people texted me today about what I should talk about in therapy, or something along those lines.

But I’m learning, I’m learning when to just give in, save an argument, and go with what my family wants, and when to stick to my guns and trust myself.

I don’t know what the point of this post was, or if there even was a post.

I think I just wanted to vent, maybe that’s a sign that therapy will be the bomb.

…. that’s it. Have a good night.

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Prayer

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You know that quote; “All I need is a little bit of coffee, and a whole lotta Jesus”?

Well, it’s false. I just need Jesus.

If I’m being honest, which I am, my prayer life is poor. I am the Christian who goes to God when I have a problem.

Corrie ten Boom asked; “is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” Unfortunately I don’t even think prayer is my spare tire. I think it’s an old flat tire I have out in the shed somewhere covered in dust.

Then I realized that the only reason that my prayer life is bad is because I let it get this way. It isn’t like I sit down to pray and God says “hold on Selina, John Smith in Timbuktu’s issue is more important than yours, come back later.”

He’s not doing that. In fact He’s the one waiting patiently for me to come to Him and I’m the one saying “hold on God, I’m too tired, I’m too busy, I’ll pray tomorrow, come back later.”

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I’m fixing that though. I’m 100% determined to become the woman He created me to be. I don’t know who that is yet, but I know it’s better than whatever it is that I’m trying to do.

Everything seems so small once I talk to Him.

I’m going to throw it back to Sunday School by saying this. but He really does have the whole world in His hands.

I can’t say that I have an exact step by step plan on how I’m going to fix my relationship with God, but hey welcome to the whole point of this blog. I’m just one big “I’m not sure but I’m going to try.”

I do know that I’m going to start with prayer, and that’s all I know for now.

I can guarantee you my prayers are not going to be beautiful and poetic, those types of prayers are nice but they don’t speak from my heart. Big and fancy words are also not something I’m going to be throwing in there. I think my prayers are more like a conversation with Him, which is kind of how I like it. Considering I’m determined to let God become my new best friend.

I have hope in this new journey I’m taking.

That’s all I’ve got.

If you’re still reading this babble, Thank you, I love you, and have a lovely night.

 

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I’m Alive

Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years -(It feels like) -you’d like to meet?

I thought the Adele song was a fitting way to start this blog, considering I haven’t been on here since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and a lovely New Year.

Mine was fine, but thats not what I wanted to talk about.

So many things are happening!

  1. I’m 100% going to change my blog name from “DIVA ON A DIME” to…. something I’m not sure of yet. I’ve just decided that although I am still a diva and still on a dime, the name is too high maintenance for the time I can give towards this blog. Does that make sense to you? It does to me, so anyways, it’s happening.
  2. I have less than 550 hours left until I graduate cosmetology school!
  3. I’m most likely moving out of Michigan! Why the heck not? I’m 2o. Hopefully there is still a whole lot of livin’ to do.
  4. I’ve lost 25lbs.
  5. I am reading Khloe Kardashians book “Strong Looks Better Naked” and I must say it is a really good book, its all about exercising and she gives really good healthy recipes as well.
  6. I got a 97% on my mock State Boards test, which may or may not mean anything but it makes me happy.
  7. I can’t stop watching “Making a Murder” on Netflix.
  8. I got rid of cable and now I actually get things done in life.
  9. Someone at school was talking about some sort of dance and I had no clue what they were talking about and it was the first time I felt remotely “old”. Laugh all you want, I know I’m only 20.
  10. I’ve eaten 5 carts of raspberries in two weeks. It’s like someone laced these ones with nicotine or something, they’re so addicting.

Okay, I just wanted to say hi, and that I still love you, and I haven’t forgotten about you. I hope you still love me too.

 

Talk to you…. someday. I’d say soon, but we all know better than that, and I shouldn’t lie to you. That’d be rude.

Love you!

Me.

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See! I’m alive, cold, but alive.