This is not how I ever pictured a breakup going.
I pictured more tears, long nights, over thinking at two in the morning, pints of ice cream, and feeling like I couldn’t go on.
However; that’s not my case.
Yes, there have been tears. But they fall for a few minutes, and then I’m okay. I’m not going to block my feelings and my emotions. I’m determined to be over him. I know to just feel my emotions when I feel them. Its the correct way to deal with something.
There have been zero long nights, and unless I’m out with my friends, having a good time, I’m not up at two in the morning.
Also, there has been no ice cream, I don’t care for ice cream.
So much has already gone on in my life since that day… I feel like him and I happened a lifetime ago.
But today I received a text from someone him and I mutually know, saying they would return all my things to me… and I had a panic attack. I called my mom, pulled over on the side of the road, crying, couldn’t think straight, a full on panic attack.
I responded to the message by saying, “I don’t want them anymore. I’m doing well mentally, and you sending me things would be taking steps backwards. Please just throw everything away.”
That person and I talked for a few more minutes and that was that.
I’ve calmed down now. I called a few people, I cooked a few things (I’m having thanksgiving at my house this year), I’ve listened to Christmas music. I’m good again, so please don’t worry.
I’ve done very well in being okay without him. I’m proud of myself, and I’m learning to enjoy things I didn’t know I liked doing.
I’m doing so good in life right now. I’m happy, I’m having fun, I’m doing more things. Life is going how its supposed to be going.
I’m… I’m doing just fine.