Fall

This has been my screen for the past 45 minutes to an hour.

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Clearly to say, I got nothin’.

As I’m writing this I don’t even have a title. I’ll let ya know in the blog when I come up with the title.

I even looked up topics to blog about. I got a variety of ideas from “talk about your favorite recipes” to “sing a song”

How would I sing a song on my blog?

Good question. The answer is: you don’t. That’s weird and you all probably would unsubscribe within .02 seconds of hearing my vocal inability.

*two hours have past since I started this blog post*

I would apologize for getting way too distracted trying to see if there was a way to have donuts shipped to your door. But I’m not sorry.

I didn’t find any that were worth investing in. A girl can dream though….

Seriously though, if any of you guys want all of my money, make delivery donuts a thing.I’ll make you a millionaire in no time. You’re welcome.

But if any of you even remotely enjoy my blogs, and value my health, for the sake of me DO NOT make delivery donuts a thing. I’d explode.

I also have been trying to make hard boiled eggs for quite some time now. Those things are difficult. I am no chef. God bless chefs though, those people have talent.

I know that the egg boiling just takes time but if you’re going to wait for the egg to cook you have to have patients… I have none. zero. nada.

GUYS I’VE COME UP WITH A BLOG POST IDEA.

I’m going to list my favorite fall things of 2015! I don’t know how many I’m going to list so we will see.

  1. Bath and Body Works Black Tie Candle. Get it here. Bath and Body Works didn’t have it for sale on their website at the moment.

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2. Scandal – My nana probably will comment and say “that show is so tacky!” “Tacky” is her favorite adjective. I love this show. Every Thursday night I watch Grey’s (which I’m not really enjoying this season) and Scandal!

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3. Valerie Stevens Self-Tie Black Trench Coat. I defiantly think its more gray than black. Get it here.

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4. Vegetarian Chili. My favorite recipe you can get here.

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5. These fuzzy socks. I got mine from the children place. You can get them here.

But if you don’t have baby feet you can get fuzzy socks anywhere.

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6. Butterbear bath bomb. Get it here.

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7. Forever Red Luxury Body Cream. Get it here.

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8. The delivery man. Not all heroes wear capes.

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9. my personalized mug. Make yours here.

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10. And finally. My favorite thing of all…

my bed. I never want to leave it.

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Voting: Warning this is a rant and may upset a few.

I hope you find this post informational, and a touch humorous

                                                                                                     

54% of people from ages 18-31 are registered to vote. FIFTY-FOUR. That makes me so mad. It very well may be even less than that, some websites gave percentages in the 30’s.

I am so sick of people around my age (18-25) saying things like “I hate politics” “I don’t care who runs my country” “Whatever” etc…

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I am over my age group being afraid to have an opinion on something, and not standing up for what they believe in.

It just ticks me off.

I am not saying you have to go out and claim to be a republican, liberal, or democrat, but I do think you should be educated on these things.

Having the right to vote is such an honor. Millions of people fought for the right to vote for years. Did 46% of people my age not take 9th grade civics? Do they not know what the 15th, 19th,and 26th amendments are? People fought so hard for this right and now some are too busy playing NBA 2K15, and watching the Kardashians to even care.

I freaking love playing 2k and I love the Kardashians (Ps they come back on tonight at 9!)

But I don’t find either one of these things to be more important than taking the time to educate myself.

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It just makes me so sad.

I’m not asking people to believe what I believe, and frankly I am still trying to figure out where I stand on some topics. We could completely disagree on abortion, gay marriage, immigration, planned parenthood, religion, what to do with Russia right now; but for goodness sakes, take a stand for something!

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My age group is wasting their human rights in the United States. Do they not realize how awesome it is that we get the right to vote for who we want to run our country? Even if the person we wanted didn’t get elected, we got to put our voices out there and be heard.

So many countries don’t let their people have this privilege.

I really encourage people to watch the debates, they’re on youtube if you missed them. There is also a debate on October 13th.

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They don’t even have to do anything! They just have to grab their beer, eat their potato chips, and sit on their ass for a few hours and learn something.

I’m not saying I’ve been all “go voting” since the day I was born, I didn’t really pay attention until I actually was of legal age to vote.

I also know that voting is a “right” and not a “duty” but it’s a right that we shouldn’t take for granted.

PS.

As a Christian, the bible informs me that I am supposed to vote, so that’s why I vote, and thats why I take the time to educate myself.

The first debate I ever watched, I had to google so many things, but thats okay.

I’m kinda sorry if this offended anybody, but at the same time I am not, voting is important, and something I firmly believe we should all be doing.

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I love you guys, despite our differences in beliefs,

have a beautiful day.

One more thing: If for some reason you don’t vote this year, don’t you dare complain for the next four.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Mine.

So I’ve been on this whole “self-seeking” journey these past few months.

I like to say that I’m dating myself.

“I’ve been single for a while now, and I must say, it’s going very well. Like it’s working out… I think I’m the one.” -Anonymous

I don’t want to date anyone else but myself for now.

That way, the only person that can break my heart is me. And I know what it felt like last time to have a broken heart so I probably won’t.

But if my heart does break again, then I only have myself to blame.

This is not to say I won’t be going on any more awful dates ever again. It just means that I don’t want to date right now.

It’s too time consuming and emotional. I am not looking for emotions at this time. I’m literally emotionally unavailable.

I’m so content at this time in my life, I am too scare to let a boy come in, cause a ruckus, mess things up, and leave.

I’m scared to love again at this point, and thats fine. I really don’t want to love. It’s overrated.

To be honest, when I look back on my past relationship I just think he put me through Hell and I called it love. Because no matter how much I thought I loved Calvin, the only thing I learned in that relationship was what love wasn’t.

  • Love isn’t tears 4/7 days a week.
  • It isn’t worrying that he overdosed on some laced form of weed if you haven’t heard from him in three days.
  • It’s not begging him to stay, because you’re afraid to be alone.
  • It isn’t torture.
  • Get it through your head. Love isn’t tragic or torture or some depressing love poem. It’s not an episode of Grey’s Anatomy or The Titanic.

However; Love is:

  • Grandma and grandpa who met when they were like 2 and never loved anyone else.
  • laughing until you cry 4/7 days a week
  • it’s arguments, but not arguments that end in him storming out, smoking a joint, then coming back higher that a kite on Mt. Kilimanjaro
  • It’s simple. And annoying. Because let’s face it, boys are aggravating, and girls are obnoxious.
  • Love isn’t Hell. We just all want love so badly we will label it whenever we get a slight chance.

So, maybe someday I will find love, or maybe someday Paul George (indian pacers basketball player) will realize I’m his soulmate. As for now though, I am to stubborn, and happy, to risk a dumb boy coming into my life and messing with my head.

PS

I really hope Paul George realizes I’m his soulmate soon. If he realized that, I would get ready for love real quick.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got to say about this icky love shizzzz.

Bye! ❤ ❤

I need a moment.

Flashback to October 17, 2014.

Technically October 18, 2014.

About 12:30am.

Picture this,

me…

crying hysterically in the dorm bathroom on the phone with my friend saying “I can’t do this anymore.”

Picture me so upset that I got sick, and allowed myself to be sick for the following three days.

I never left my dorm. I hated that place, it was a never-ending anxiety attack. I woke up sweating, I was always calling my mother.

I had no one, I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, I just sat there.

It was like I was a living, breathing body, but what made me, “me” was not there anymore.

Isn’t depression and anxiety, fun?

Gosh all those tumblr posts that romanticize depression/anxiety sure have it wrong.

Fun fact, it isn’t beautiful, it isn’t poetic, it’s scary as hell.

Living with depression is complicated and confusing. One second you’re fine, then the next the “black cloud” appears and you almost forget that there are good days.

There are good days though.

Fast forward to January 6, 2015.

I’m still in the dark place, I’m still sad.

But I have these two amazing grandparents who love me. They loved me so much, they took me to the doctor’s and made sure I was prescribed medication for depression.

A week later I got a job, then another one.

A couple of weeks later I started to notice that there were more good days than bad days.

I started to realize that life isn’t meant to be lived in a “dark cloud” it’s meant to be lived with more good days than bad.

Yeah, there are good days, and bad days, but more often than not, they are good days.

Continuing onto May 16, 2015. I move into my first apartment.

It’s cute, and tiny, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I go to sleep that night calm. I am not worried about the future, I am confident about the future.

I don’t have the same feeling as I did my first night at college. I am calm, happy, optimistic, and sure.

Present day: June 14, 2015

11:00pm

I have cosmetology school orientation tomorrow and I can’t freaking wait. All I want to do is meet new people, and make new best friends, and goof off with them, and be the person that my Creator intended for me to be.

The whole point of this post is to basically say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may start off as a pitch, black, scary tunnel, but there is a light.

So whether you’re in the midst of the darkness, seeing the light, or have been in the light for a while now, just know that God didn’t make us to have more bad days than good. He made us to do His work, and use our talents to honor and glorify Him.

He didn’t make us to be scared, depressed people. He loves us too much for us to be anything less than awesome, and glorifying.

I hope you enjoyed this post.

I wanted to give a special thank you to my grandparents, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m not sure I’d be here at all in all honesty. No combination of 26 letters could describe how much I love you, and how grateful I am to have you in my life. Thank you for never once giving up on me, and always encouraging me to follow my dreams.

Have a good night!!

I’ll tell you all about school asap!!

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Home Sweet Home

Here she is, my first place. With all its beautiful 1970’s wallpaper, sticky flooring, and fluorescent lighting.

This is the view from the front door.

To the left of the couch is my entertainment center:

This is what’s on my book shelves.

    

Kitchen:

  

This is supposed to be a laundry room, but I don’t have a washer and dryer so its my makeup and hair room:

  

My room/closet.

  

bathroom:

I hope you enjoyed my little post about my first place.

If I Was Stranded on a Desert Island.

Here are the ten things I would bring with me if I were going to be shipped to a desert island. I don’t know why I’m sharing this. Here ya go anyways.

1. Al. IMG_5415 This dog is my soulmate. He rescued me, I didn’t rescue him. Everyone thinks that their dog is the greatest dog in the world, and they’re right. Everyone’s dog is the greatest. Mines just the best at being the greatest. I’m not bias about him or anything… 😉

2. Calvin. Calvin Collage This is my boyfriend of four years. I expect a ring at some point in life just not at this point in my life.

3. Dr. Pepper.Dr-Pepper-Poster It’s good. It’s delicious. It’s going to a desert island with me.

4. An endless supply of Kale. It’s my favorite. kale-benefits-1-1

5. Sunblock. I don’t tan, I burn.

6. Shampoo. My hair is a greasy mess most days and I refuse to have my hair not be washed. I probably do smile like this while washing my hair. I love the feeling of clean hair.Unknown

7. My blanket. I’m always cold, and my blanket is never to far out of reach. I love that thing. Its old, faded, and torn, but it’s mine. I wish I had a picture.

8. A Hammock. Those things are the bomb. But I’d need an automatic rocker one (if they make those) because I hate having to swing myself.

9. Toothpaste… enough said.

10. Cards. I’ll get bored pretending I am Ariel from the little mermaid all day, so I’ll need a deck of cards.

My Not So Clever Title

It’s just one of those…months I think.

This is not my day, not my week, not my month. I somehow managed to get a first class seat on the struggle bus. Without even trying! Lucky me! 😐

I started my new job! I have two jobs now. I work at a clothing store and a restaurant.

Which means I am tired. And that I miss my bed. Beds are the bomb.

Speaking of bombs… I can’t wait until we bomb the ever-loving shit out of ISIS.

Sorry for the naughty word but its the only good way to express my feelings for that sentence.

Okay. Enough of my random thought train.

Makeup.

Lets talk makeup.

Lets talk about what every one has been talking about lately. The Lime Crime scandal.

Those mischievous little scammers.

So for those of you who don’t know. Lime crime is apparently stealing money from customers and not owning up to it.

That is all the information I really have about this scandal but I would like you all to know that I will not be supporting this company anymore.

I have three of their lipsticks. In all honesty I probably wasn’t going to purchase from them again anyways because I wasn’t impressed. They just didn’t last on my lips.

Seriously though, stealing money from people who were already giving money to you in the first place. What a low blow. It really takes your faith out of humanity.

If you’ve heard anything else about this scandal let me know! I want to know the scoop.

The owner of this company ought to be ashamed of themselves. She takes no responsibility and in fact is actually blaming her customers.

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Okay. I am sorry if this post came off as depressing or too complain-y.

Here’s a photo that always makes me smile.

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I mean look at it. How can you not smile.

Also because I said that some people make you lose faith in humanity here is a link that’ll help you restore your faith.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/what-has-restored-your-faith-in-humanity-in-2014#.apPqbd30B

I love you!

Have a good night! I’ll talk to you when I can, I promise! ❤ ❤ ❤

The Fam

I come from a small family. I have a mom and dad (most of us do, that’s’ how we got here), and a little brother.

This is us. A long time ago.

Mark + Vicki + Braxton + Selina = family.

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My parents are parents. They work and do whatever it is people with full-time jobs and two kids do.

So basically they work, sleep, and pay bills.

Sometimes they get really crazy and stay up past 9:30. That’s on a rare occasion though.

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This is Mom. I forget sometimes her real name is Vicki, because in my mind her legal name is Mom.

Anyways, mom likes to sleep often, but she gets up at the crack of dawn. Mom also has a passion for power walking. She’ll walk around the neighborhood in any weather. She’s cute, I love her.

She works too much. She also cries at anything. I’m pretty sure she’s cried watching the season finale of The Bachelor. 

She’s a lovely women though, God blessed me with her.When I go to heaven I need to remember to thank Him for her.

She’s put up with a lot.

That’s all I have to say about Mom.

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This is Dad. He works too much as well. I miss him. I look the most like him, and I act the most like him. He’s a fairly chill guy. He likes to lecture you until you fall asleep (don’t tell him I said that).

Dad also likes to fish…likes, is an understatement. My mother is not my dads first love, fishing is. He doesn’t care if he caught 100 fishes or zero. All his fishing buddies (we call them his “girlfriends”) share this bizarre passion for fishing too.

How I feel about fishing, is how he feels about makeup. Meaning, I’m sure it’s great, but not for me.

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This is Sibling. I have many names I call him but the top three are Sibling, Baby Brother, and Braxy. Clearly my “little” brother is not so little. He’s 16 and 6 ft tall.

This kid is my BFF.

You know how people say twins have telepathy? Well we do too. We speak fluent sibling.

My sibling is the best. I love him. I’m also very protective of him. I can make fun of him, and laugh at him, but until Hell freezes over no one else can.

My favorite thing ever is that I got to grow up with my best friend. I used to dress him in my clothes (I loved putting him in skorts) He didn’t know the difference. I was his sister and I told him to do it so he listened.

We got to go to France for two weeks over the summer and that was the most amazing experience.

One of the oddest things in life is watching your sibling grow up. Braxton may be 6ft, run cross country, drive a car, and have a girlfriend.

In my mind, however; Braxton will always be 4 years old, afraid of anything, play with Hot Wheels, and think girls have cooties.

No matter what may happen, this is my family. My “ride or die” as the kids say it these days.

No one can mess with them. If they try, they’ll have to go through all 5’2 of me first.