Grandma

I’m just going to say it; I got scared to blog. I hadn’t blogged in a while and because of that I got nervous to blog again. Does this happen to you guys? I hope I’m not the only one who does this. It’s almost like a bad relationship… on again, off again, on again, off again…

But if you’ve ever read any of my previous posts, you would know that apparently I’m good at on again and off again relationships.

That was me making fun of myself… and no this is not me saying I got back together with my awful ex.

I told you guys I was done, and I meant it.

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I’ve done a lot of growing in this past year. I think thats what you’re supposed to do when you’re 21.

Life is supposed to be a constant whirl wind… and thats what it’s been.

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Brace yourself for all this:

So since January this is all that has happened: I quit my job, I moved back into my parents house, I got a new job (the same day I moved), met a boy, got my heart broken by that boy, moved on, had too much fun with friends, got refocused on my goals, had more too much fun with my friends, and my dearly loved, and admired great grandmother passed away.

 

My next blog post will be about my life, however; this post is a letter to her.

Hi Grandma,

I’m going to state the obvious… I miss you.

I’d pay lots of money to hear you laugh one more time. Although you’d tell me not to spend my money on something like that.

Grandma, you were a good one to me. You always accepted me for who I was, and you always cheered me on for who I am becoming. You and I became close at a fairly sad and confusing time in my life. (The exact same time I started this blog)

Of course I loved you long before two years ago. I have countless memories of you when I was little. However from middle school through high school I wasn’t around as much, and that’s my fault. If I could go back in time and tell myself one thing it would be to spend more time with you.

I love the memories I have of you growing up, they’re special to me. It’s just that the past two and a half years really rocked with you consistently in my life. I discovered a lot about myself with your help… you probably never even realized it. I want to thank you for teaching me how to be strong-willed, and not to let people take advantage of my niceness.

A few days ago a guy was being rather rude to me. Normally I’d be the pathetic girl who would let him be mean, and then try to make it better again. Not this time. The very first thing that went through my head was, “my grandma would hate that I was letting someone be mean to me… she’d be so upset.” So I didn’t stand for it for one more second, and out the door the potential of that relationship went.

Thank you, Grandma. Thank you for helping me realize I deserve people being kind to me, and that I am a strong woman.

Grandma, I’m going to miss you for a long while. I was hoping I had found “the one” before you passed. But you help me find myself before you passed, and thats more important.

I’m so thankful you were in my life. I’m so thankful that you’re going to continue to be in my life. My strong-willed, humorous, thoughtful, personality are characteristics of you. That is how you are going to live on to me. You gave me pieces of you, and I am thankful.

I love you, Grandma. I miss you. I’ll talk to you soon.

Me.

 

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Telling People No

You learn a lot about someone when you tell them “thanks but no thanks.” For instance; they become upset, like you’re personally attacking them.

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I recently accepted a job for when I’m done with school! Hooray!

It was my number one choice out of the salon/spas that I applied to. So naturally, when they offered me the job, I calmly said “I’d love to!” While inside I was holding back the urge to cry, and hug my new boss.

Once I accepted the job, I realized I now have to make a few phone calls and cancel some of my interviews I had set up at other salons. When I called and said “I had an interview on (whatever day) but I have to cancel because I recently accepted another job but thank you for the opportunity.”

Most of them were very kind, one girl even said “Congratulations!”

However, I’ve also gotten “K. Thanks for not wasting out time. *click*”

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And in that phone conversation it taught me everything I needed to know about that salon. I learned that if I were to have worked there, I’d have hated in two seconds. And that the Lord was looking out for me.

Whatever, I wish that salon the best of luck. And I am super excited about my job to the point that nothing is going to stop me from being in this happiness.

Also! I finally am moving too, and I already have a roommate! Thank the Lord, rent is going to be so much cheaper now!

I hope you all are having a beautiful day, its gorgeous in Michigan today, and its warmish.

I love you all!

Hope to talk to you soon-soonish, much is happening in these next few weeks. I’ll keep you updated, I’ll try.

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Thank You

Happy 1 year anniversary!

I know I just blogged but I just got the notification that I started this blog exactly a year ago.

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As the photo says above, “A lot can happen in a year.”

So I’d like to thank you. Thanks for being there for me guys, whether you started last year on February 7, 2015 or you started today on February 7, 2016. Thanks for being part of my little family.

Last year involved a lot of changes in my life, and blogging helped me figure out how to deal with some of those changes.

Lets recap:

Last year at this time I…

Was living with my nana and grandpa.

Was working two different jobs.

Was figuring out how to deal with my depression.

Figuring out where I was going to live.

Was lonely.

Had no clue that my life would be like it is now.

*present day*

I am…

Loving school.

Having the best time ever with some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.

Figuring out where I am going to live next.

Figuring out how to deal with my depression.

Not lonely.

Happy, and in complete and utter disbelief that my life is so different than it was exactly a  year a go.

Although there are still some things that I am trying to figure out, I am so thankful that I am not where I was last year.

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It’s amazing how God will let you hit rock bottom, just so you can see that He is the rock at the bottom.

But once again, thank you. Thanks for being there for me, even if you didn’t know you were.

And a special thank you to my nana and grandpa, who are some of the most amazing people in the entire world. I’m sorry they couldn’t be your grandparents too, because they’re exceptional. Thanks for teaching me so much about loving, growing up, decision making, faith, and forgiveness. Thanks for letting me complain about my parents to you when I need to. Thank you for telling me when I’m wrong, and helping me figure out how to make it right. You guys are the best teachers I’ve ever had. Thanks for always being some of my biggest fans, and loving me every step of the way. I love you more.

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