Home… sick

I’m home… sick. Not the emotional home sick either. I’m sick, and I’m at home. There’s a garbage can next to me just incase.

The following meme describes my thought process these past three days:

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I’m tired of tea, I’m tired of 7 up, I’m tired of saltine crackers, I’m tired of vegetable broth.  I’m whiny and grumpy. I want my mom.

Do you guys have a remedy to help me?

I get super dizzy quickly and I’m exhausted.

Please help.

 

Okay heres to my blog post:

Now I don’t know if you guys know or not but my dream is to someday live in Indianapolis.

“But why, Selina? Does anything happen there?” You all ask.

“I don’t have a clue as to why. It’s just a thing. It’s my destiny and I have to go.” Says me.

“Okay then.” You all say.

Me *jumps and skips and goes on about my boring day*

Some people have had this feeling about a husband, long term boyfriend, a pet, or a career path.

They say something along the lines of, “when you know, you know.”

And that’s how I feel about this city. The second I got there I knew I wanted to spend a good chunk of my life living there.

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I’ve even taken steps in order to be able to move there. For instance I’m saving!

Now on a scale of 0-Donald Trump on how much money I have saved, I’m about a .05%… so, I’m not quite there… yet. It’s going to happen. I’m trying my hardest though. I’m passionate about saving so I can move.

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I’m giving this challenge a try this year. In my career you get a lot of 5$ bills, so it’s worth a shot.

I have a five year plan. I’m actually going to Indianapolis soon so I can get a “lay of the land.” I want to see a few salons, see different living areas, eat at different restaurants, and get the vibe.

I belong in this city. How do you guys save? Do you have any tips or tricks? This sounds odd but I do better saving cash. If I have money on my bank card I will spend it. Cash guilts me into saving. I don’t know how or why, but its just what works for me.

These are some of my 2017 Motto’s:

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This is for me

“I forgive you. Not for you, but for me. Because like chains shackling me to the past I will no longer pollute my heart with bitterness, fear, distrust, or anger. I forgive you because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don’t belong here anymore”

-Beau Taplin

On and off for five years. But now it’s done. My heart is calm, and relaxed, I’m thankful, and I’m optimistic.

I’m not thankful in a “I’m glad he’s gone, he was the scum of the earth, good riddance,” type of way. More so a “I can’t do this up and down emotional rollercoaster, I know it has to end, I love you…goodbye” type of way.

It’s not that we didn’t love one another, it’s that we didn’t love one another the way someone deserved to be loved. It was too unsure, and so we had to say goodbye.

This post isn’t really for any reason, it’s more so for my heart. So I can get the words I need to say out in the open.

I loved him. I loved him with my whole heart. But overtime the things he did to my heart took a toll. People always said “you get to a point where you’ve had enough.” I never thought I’d get to that point though. But one day as he was belittling me on the phone telling me how horrible I was something clicked. Honestly, when I say something clicked I mean, something seriously went “click” in my head. I sat there and thought “why the heck am I letting this guy take one more second of my time” and I hung up, and we never talked again. Five years gone, just like that.

I was going to write “I guess that’s when I realized he wasn’t as amazing as I thought he was,” but that’s incorrect. I’m not bitter, and I’m not going to disrespect him like that. For five years I thought he was that amazing.

I do think I’m ready to date again, and that makes me excited. The past doesn’t interest me anymore.

I really loved him, I’ll never deny the fact that He was my favorite person for a very long time.  But often loving him was hard. It was tiring. It was it was lonely. I’m excited to find someone who reminds me that love is hard, but not that hard.

 

Dear Him,

I loved you. You gave me some of the happiest memories of my teenage years. Thank you. Thank you for loving me the only way you knew how. I loved you from the moment I saw you at 15 years old, and I continued to love you until I was 21. Thank you for helping me grow into the person I am today.

I wish you so much joy in life. I hope you follow your dreams, and that you wake up every day knowing you have a purpose here on this earth. You’re worthy, you’re lovely, and you’re wonderful.

Thank you for showing me what love is, and what love isn’t. Thank you, thank you so much for everything, from the first time we said “hello” to the last time we said “goodbye.” Thank you for the memories.

I loved you, and thank you for loving me for the time that you did.

 

Love,

me.

 

28 Days

28 Days… Thats how many days I have left until I graduate!

Remember when we started this whole relationship? I had only signed up to go to cosmetology school, and had months to go until I actually even STARTED. But, here I am.

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I searched for “finish line quotes” on Pinterest and all that showed up were running motivational quotes. So, we’re just going to go with the flow and pretend that this is for cosmetology. 

Really though, lets all take a second to look back on where we were 10.5 months ago… Okay now that, that cringe worthy, embarrassing second is over with, lets move on.

I hope you are a better you than you were 10.5 months ago, I hope you like yourself more, have learned more about yourself, have accomplished something that betters you, and have grown as a human being.

As happy as I am in my life right now, I need to start thinking about the future. Lately the future makes me scared. I feel like change just scares me to no end, and I need to grown up and deal with life like an adult. Suck it up, Selina.

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Also, don’t forget to tell the ones that matter to you, that they matter to you. Sometimes life gets in the way of life and we forget that none of us get out of here alive, and then before ya know it, someone you love is not physically there anymore. So tell them you love them, and that they matter to you, and that this world shines a little brighter because they exist on it.

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Oh, wait! April is Earth month for Aveda, which makes me happy, because my God made this Earth, I think he did a marvelous job, and we need to take care of it. So reduce, reuse, and recycle!

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I hope you guys are all doing well, I know there was no point to this post, but hey, there is no point to this whole blog, so whatever.

 

Blessings on blessings on blessings

Please excuse the Big Sean and Drake song reference as my title, but that what is playing in the back ground right now.

It’s February 21, and its nice out in Michigan. Seriously, that big, yellow, thing in the sky that only comes out 5 times a year here is here today! It’s 45ºF and birds are chirping.

Its. So. Dang. Beautiful.

So I decided to do some spring cleaning. That rodent in the ground came out a few weeks ago and declared an early spring. Since I trust him about as equally as I trust any other weather man, I’ll just wait and see, but why not be hopeful in the mean time?970a58907ea83919681e379010f85b48.jpg

 

Before I get to the point of this blog I have a question for everyone who doesn’t live in Michigan. In Michigan we often get our pennies mixed up with Canadian coins, does that not happen to you guys? Does New Jersey, or Wisconsin or another state have this issue too? I didn’t think it was that odd until I saw all these “You know you’re from Michigan when…” memes.

I’m just curious.

Anyways I made a list of all the reasons why living alone when you’re a baby adult is the best. Here it is:

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  1. You don’t have to worry about roommates bringing strange people home, and feeling uncomfortable
  2. If your apartment gets messy, that’s all on you, you can’t get mad at anyone else for it.
  3. Piggybacking off that, no one gets mad at you for when you haven’t cleaned in a while.
  4. Your nonexistent roommates don’t look at you like you’re a hermit when you stay in for the 15th weekend in a row…
  5. You learn a lot of DIY things for example; how to clean your stove top (did you know that thing raises up?), how to put those window insulators up, and how to remove a lot of things from the walls or carpet (i.e. cherry Dr. Pepper, or scratch marks) so your landlord never finds out.681d822e7565f362da9da7c03d4cc8fa.jpg
  6. You learn a lot about yourself when you live alone, for instance; I’m not the best cook.
  7. If you’re a vegetarian you don’t have to worry about your roommate buying hamburger meat and having it next to your strawberries. That just sounds so….ew.
  8. You buy a lot of your “first” things. For example; I bought my first vacuum this year (go me!), I also bought my very first set of dishes and pans, its kinda exciting.
  9. You don’t have to pretend to care about your roommates cat. Or watch it when she’s gone one weekend.
  10. Finally. You learn to appreciate the people you have in your life, but from a distance. I can appreciate you while you’re at your house, and I’m at my house.

I mainly made this list to feel better about myself because I was bored and didn’t want to clean anymore.

Love you!

Me.

Thank You

Happy 1 year anniversary!

I know I just blogged but I just got the notification that I started this blog exactly a year ago.

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As the photo says above, “A lot can happen in a year.”

So I’d like to thank you. Thanks for being there for me guys, whether you started last year on February 7, 2015 or you started today on February 7, 2016. Thanks for being part of my little family.

Last year involved a lot of changes in my life, and blogging helped me figure out how to deal with some of those changes.

Lets recap:

Last year at this time I…

Was living with my nana and grandpa.

Was working two different jobs.

Was figuring out how to deal with my depression.

Figuring out where I was going to live.

Was lonely.

Had no clue that my life would be like it is now.

*present day*

I am…

Loving school.

Having the best time ever with some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.

Figuring out where I am going to live next.

Figuring out how to deal with my depression.

Not lonely.

Happy, and in complete and utter disbelief that my life is so different than it was exactly a  year a go.

Although there are still some things that I am trying to figure out, I am so thankful that I am not where I was last year.

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It’s amazing how God will let you hit rock bottom, just so you can see that He is the rock at the bottom.

But once again, thank you. Thanks for being there for me, even if you didn’t know you were.

And a special thank you to my nana and grandpa, who are some of the most amazing people in the entire world. I’m sorry they couldn’t be your grandparents too, because they’re exceptional. Thanks for teaching me so much about loving, growing up, decision making, faith, and forgiveness. Thanks for letting me complain about my parents to you when I need to. Thank you for telling me when I’m wrong, and helping me figure out how to make it right. You guys are the best teachers I’ve ever had. Thanks for always being some of my biggest fans, and loving me every step of the way. I love you more.

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Have a Happy Day

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I am not the girl that cares about football.

However, I am also not the girl who plays dumb and says “go team” or “is this the sport with the big orange ball?!” just to look cute and dumb… because thats such an attractive quality to have, ladies.

You want to sit and watch a basketball game? Perfect, I’m your girl. But I couldn’t care less about any other sport.

To each their own. May the best team win today.

Panthers…Broncos… may the odds be ever in your favor.

I am going to watch the game today though, I think it is a fun game to watch every year, and hopefully the commercials are better than last year.

This wasn’t the point of the post today though.

But to be honest, I came on here with no idea what my point was going to be.

I think I was just bored, I wanted to do a puzzle, or read a book, but I have none of those.

Sundays are the best days to be bored. Time travels slower.

Okay, sorry for this randomness, I’m leaving you now, I just came to wish you a happy Sunday, and I hope whatever team you’re hoping for wins.

Here’s a little Michigan humor from all of us, to all of you:

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Love,

Me

Sundays

It was one of those “movie Sundays” today. You know the kind where its rainy, foggy, and you feel like you need to be drinking tea, reflecting on some guy who broke your heart, and listening to music on a record player? It was that kind of day.

I didn’t do any of that though. But I feel like that’s what I would have been doing if I was in a movie. I think the movie would be called “Sundays with Selina” or something like that.

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.

..

….

…..

Just so you know. It is now ten pm, and I started this post exactly at 6:30pm. I got distracted by “Undercover Boss”.

I came on here though to ask you guys something.

Would you please recommend some good books for me to read? I’ll read anything except over dramatized romance novels.

All I wanted to do today was read, but I had no books that struck my interest. They were all books I had read in high school. You know the kind, the cliché, rebel-guy-sweeps-good-girl-off-feet-and-they-live-happily-ever-after-even-though-all-odds-were-against-them, type of books.

I’m looking for something with substance. They can be classic authors, popular authors, series, unheard of authors. I’d love some ideas.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got.

Hope to hear from you guys soon!

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You can get more of these cute designs by CurlyGirlDesign.com

 

 

 

 

I’ll figure it out

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I am 20 and a half and I do not wish to have all the answers right now, if ever.

Just because I’m trying to figure out some things in my life, doesn’t mean I’m looking for comments or opinions on how I should or shouldn’t go about things.

I will figure it out on my own.

I am 20.

I do not have an older sibling who got to show me the way, one to be the guinea pig, and learn from their mistakes. In fact, I am the sibling that my sibling got to learn from. I get to be the guinea pig.

Which is fine, I do not mind playing the roll of the “rebellious, black sheep, learn the hard way,” child. I think when you’re the oldest you just come to terms with the fact that you have to teach yourself how to do certain things, and your baby siblings look like prized positions while you… don’t.

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My little brother is 17 and has multiple full ride scholarship offers. He is smart, athletic, 6’2″, “cool” (he’s cool to the other awkward 17 year olds in high school, and to himself I’m sure), and can do no wrong in my family’s eye.

It’s funny how we come from the exact same blood, but are two completely different people.

I was average in high school, by no means were full rides knocking on my door. I golfed in high school, but only to get out of gym class. I am 5’2″, and in high school I had friends, but I wasn’t “super hip.” And of course, I’m always being yelled at for something by someone in my family.

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Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be more proud of my little sibling. He is amazingly smart, and I can’t wait to see where he goes in life. I am his biggest fan and will always have that kids back.

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I’m not saying everything changed for me when I got out of high school and into the real world, but…. everything changed for me when I got out of high school and into the real world.

You start to develop your own opinions, and sometimes those opinions differ from your parents. And that is a-okay. You’re allowed to become your own person; however, sometimes becoming your own person requires a lot of annoying lectures from people who tell you they know best.

I’ve yet to figure out how to handle annoying, unwanted lectures nicely, and without rolling my eyes.

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Families are amazing and I love mine to no end. I’m just frustrated with everyones input 24/7.

This week I finally made the decision to go to therapy. Now don’t applaud me yet, I’m only going so my family will stop telling me “you should go to therapy,” every other second.

I have nothing against therapy, in fact, I’m actually open to the idea of liking it, and I’m starting to look forward to my first appointment. The idea of having a complete stranger listen to my problems, and then insurance pays for it, sounds nice.

I just wish people would stop telling me how to do every single move I make. Seriously, three people texted me today about what I should talk about in therapy, or something along those lines.

But I’m learning, I’m learning when to just give in, save an argument, and go with what my family wants, and when to stick to my guns and trust myself.

I don’t know what the point of this post was, or if there even was a post.

I think I just wanted to vent, maybe that’s a sign that therapy will be the bomb.

…. that’s it. Have a good night.

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I’m Alive

Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years -(It feels like) -you’d like to meet?

I thought the Adele song was a fitting way to start this blog, considering I haven’t been on here since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and a lovely New Year.

Mine was fine, but thats not what I wanted to talk about.

So many things are happening!

  1. I’m 100% going to change my blog name from “DIVA ON A DIME” to…. something I’m not sure of yet. I’ve just decided that although I am still a diva and still on a dime, the name is too high maintenance for the time I can give towards this blog. Does that make sense to you? It does to me, so anyways, it’s happening.
  2. I have less than 550 hours left until I graduate cosmetology school!
  3. I’m most likely moving out of Michigan! Why the heck not? I’m 2o. Hopefully there is still a whole lot of livin’ to do.
  4. I’ve lost 25lbs.
  5. I am reading Khloe Kardashians book “Strong Looks Better Naked” and I must say it is a really good book, its all about exercising and she gives really good healthy recipes as well.
  6. I got a 97% on my mock State Boards test, which may or may not mean anything but it makes me happy.
  7. I can’t stop watching “Making a Murder” on Netflix.
  8. I got rid of cable and now I actually get things done in life.
  9. Someone at school was talking about some sort of dance and I had no clue what they were talking about and it was the first time I felt remotely “old”. Laugh all you want, I know I’m only 20.
  10. I’ve eaten 5 carts of raspberries in two weeks. It’s like someone laced these ones with nicotine or something, they’re so addicting.

Okay, I just wanted to say hi, and that I still love you, and I haven’t forgotten about you. I hope you still love me too.

 

Talk to you…. someday. I’d say soon, but we all know better than that, and I shouldn’t lie to you. That’d be rude.

Love you!

Me.

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See! I’m alive, cold, but alive.

Al

I couldn’t think of a title.

So I looked around at what I saw, saw my favorite thing in the whole world, and named it after him.

Al.

My dog.

He’s beautiful, he brings me joy, he makes me smile, and currently he’s hogging my bed.

I don’t really mind though, he’s the love of my life and he can do what he wants.


That’s him on my parents boat today.

Here are some more photos from the boat and the lake: 

Thats my dad, we clearly look nothing alike… :p

The sun was also in our eyes but I still love this photo

This is Leo and I playing in the water! He’s so cute.  

He loves me.

I just wanted to share these photos with you guys.

Have a good day!

Have a lovely Labor Day Tomorrow