Part 2

I start college on Monday.

Yup. You read me correctly. I’m going back to college.

And yes, I am scared out of my mind.

If you don’t recall I started this blog in January/February 2014. One month after I left college. I was sad, confused, lonely, and scared. Going to that school was the absolute worst experience I’ve ever had. I’m scared to death to fall into that mental state again.

I think I was numb. In lack of a better example; it’s like I’m a recovering drug addict, I’ve been in recovery for a while, and I’m terrified to relapse. Except instead of drugs, its depression and I’m scared that going back to school might be my trigger to relapse.

Except one very important thing is very different.

I am not that girl anymore. I am happy and social. Unfortunately, I am still confused about almost everything in life. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared. But I’ve learned that just because I’m afraid doesn’t mean I get to chicken out. I have to be bold and I can’t let fear stop me.

So, here I go. Wide-eyed, ready, and trembling in my boots.

Wish me luck, It’s my first day of college part 2!


Telling People No

You learn a lot about someone when you tell them “thanks but no thanks.” For instance; they become upset, like you’re personally attacking them.


I recently accepted a job for when I’m done with school! Hooray!

It was my number one choice out of the salon/spas that I applied to. So naturally, when they offered me the job, I calmly said “I’d love to!” While inside I was holding back the urge to cry, and hug my new boss.

Once I accepted the job, I realized I now have to make a few phone calls and cancel some of my interviews I had set up at other salons. When I called and said “I had an interview on (whatever day) but I have to cancel because I recently accepted another job but thank you for the opportunity.”

Most of them were very kind, one girl even said “Congratulations!”

However, I’ve also gotten “K. Thanks for not wasting out time. *click*”


And in that phone conversation it taught me everything I needed to know about that salon. I learned that if I were to have worked there, I’d have hated in two seconds. And that the Lord was looking out for me.

Whatever, I wish that salon the best of luck. And I am super excited about my job to the point that nothing is going to stop me from being in this happiness.

Also! I finally am moving too, and I already have a roommate! Thank the Lord, rent is going to be so much cheaper now!

I hope you all are having a beautiful day, its gorgeous in Michigan today, and its warmish.

I love you all!

Hope to talk to you soon-soonish, much is happening in these next few weeks. I’ll keep you updated, I’ll try.


I’m Alive

Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years -(It feels like) -you’d like to meet?

I thought the Adele song was a fitting way to start this blog, considering I haven’t been on here since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and a lovely New Year.

Mine was fine, but thats not what I wanted to talk about.

So many things are happening!

  1. I’m 100% going to change my blog name from “DIVA ON A DIME” to…. something I’m not sure of yet. I’ve just decided that although I am still a diva and still on a dime, the name is too high maintenance for the time I can give towards this blog. Does that make sense to you? It does to me, so anyways, it’s happening.
  2. I have less than 550 hours left until I graduate cosmetology school!
  3. I’m most likely moving out of Michigan! Why the heck not? I’m 2o. Hopefully there is still a whole lot of livin’ to do.
  4. I’ve lost 25lbs.
  5. I am reading Khloe Kardashians book “Strong Looks Better Naked” and I must say it is a really good book, its all about exercising and she gives really good healthy recipes as well.
  6. I got a 97% on my mock State Boards test, which may or may not mean anything but it makes me happy.
  7. I can’t stop watching “Making a Murder” on Netflix.
  8. I got rid of cable and now I actually get things done in life.
  9. Someone at school was talking about some sort of dance and I had no clue what they were talking about and it was the first time I felt remotely “old”. Laugh all you want, I know I’m only 20.
  10. I’ve eaten 5 carts of raspberries in two weeks. It’s like someone laced these ones with nicotine or something, they’re so addicting.

Okay, I just wanted to say hi, and that I still love you, and I haven’t forgotten about you. I hope you still love me too.


Talk to you…. someday. I’d say soon, but we all know better than that, and I shouldn’t lie to you. That’d be rude.

Love you!



See! I’m alive, cold, but alive.



I hope you all are well and had a great Thanksgiving. I’ve missed you dearly, but school is exhausting lately and most days I miss my bed more, (don’t we all?)

I came on here to ask you guys a question. Am I the only one who has a million different passions in life? I don’t even understand it, I have so many different interests, and I want to do them all! But, do you know how expensive it would be to have a degree in every single thing that I want to be a professional at? Roughly the about of money the Kardashians make in a month, so, like, $10,000,000.

Why can’t I be that kid that has one passion in life and only wants to focus on that? Why couldn’t I just like computers, or just want to be a nurse?

Instead I get to be interested in; cosmetology, teaching, anatomy, science, paleontology, religion, politics, history, taking care of the elderly, genetics, philosophy, and writing. Just to name a few…

I really love school, and I am really excited to become a cosmetologist.

Its just, I don’t know if that’s the only thing I want to be.

A few months ago I decided that once I’m done with cosmetology school, I’m going to get a job and go back to college.

Woohoo! I’m actually really excited that I want to go back, and sort of proud, considering what a catastrophe it was the first time around.

So, of course once you decided to go to school/ back to school, you start thinking; what am I going to go to school for? I had thought about business, I thought it would make sense. Get a cosmetology license,  get a business degree, own a salon, the end.

Sounds like a perfect plan.

Except for one tiny, small, rather important detail. I have no desire to go to business school, or own a salon. I know that when I am out of school I would love to work at a resort or spa, however;  I would not love to have to run a resort or spa.

So once I finally came to terms with the fact that I will not be going to business school, I started thinking; well, I will get a degree in something, but what are my passions.

I have a fairly good idea of what I want to go to school for, I just don’t want to have to tell my family that I’m going back. It took them a while to get over the fact that I left college, now going back, I’m afraid they’ll see it as a joke.

I really don’t feel like my family takes me seriously, so I don’t really want to share my excitement about going back, because they’ll ruin it for me.

What do I do? Do I go back to school? Do I just stay a cosmetologist?

I really love cosmetology, I do, but it’s not the only thing I love, and I hate that.

Dear You,

“I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.”

I wanted to talk to you guys. I don’t have anything specific to talk about though. So here is my absolutely random blog post.

Dear you,

I hope your day was well. If it wasn’t, I hope you give tomorrow a shot at being a good day.

Do you ever just feel “eh”?

That’s how I feel today. It wasn’t a bad day, not even close, but I just feel “eh”.

(that could just be my enemy, Mr. Depression talking.)

Since I was feeling “eh”, I took myself out for ice cream. Which is a big deal in my mind. Friday night date night, party of one.

I’d keep talking about my ice cream, but I want to tell you guys about school now, so I’m changing the topic.

I love school. I love being there, I love learning, I love almost dozing off to the boring video tutorials we have to watch in class. Everything about the cosmetology craft is amazing to me.

My favorite things to do are mens cutting and blow-dries. Mens cutting is such an art. and Blow drying is the finishing touch to a beautiful new look.

I just love it.

When my ex jumped on a plane, moved to Colorado, and texted me that he didn’t love me anymore. I feel in love with myself. I didn’t really realize that I had put so much effort into loving him that I lost myself in the process.

It took me losing him to find myself.

You know who I also found again? God. Not that I ever lost him. You really can’t lose something when it’s everywhere you look, but I found God again for myself, intimately. How quick do we forget how awesome it is to have God on speed dial.


He rocks.

You rock.

That’s all she wrote.

Love you.

I need a moment.

Flashback to October 17, 2014.

Technically October 18, 2014.

About 12:30am.

Picture this,


crying hysterically in the dorm bathroom on the phone with my friend saying “I can’t do this anymore.”

Picture me so upset that I got sick, and allowed myself to be sick for the following three days.

I never left my dorm. I hated that place, it was a never-ending anxiety attack. I woke up sweating, I was always calling my mother.

I had no one, I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, I just sat there.

It was like I was a living, breathing body, but what made me, “me” was not there anymore.

Isn’t depression and anxiety, fun?

Gosh all those tumblr posts that romanticize depression/anxiety sure have it wrong.

Fun fact, it isn’t beautiful, it isn’t poetic, it’s scary as hell.

Living with depression is complicated and confusing. One second you’re fine, then the next the “black cloud” appears and you almost forget that there are good days.

There are good days though.

Fast forward to January 6, 2015.

I’m still in the dark place, I’m still sad.

But I have these two amazing grandparents who love me. They loved me so much, they took me to the doctor’s and made sure I was prescribed medication for depression.

A week later I got a job, then another one.

A couple of weeks later I started to notice that there were more good days than bad days.

I started to realize that life isn’t meant to be lived in a “dark cloud” it’s meant to be lived with more good days than bad.

Yeah, there are good days, and bad days, but more often than not, they are good days.

Continuing onto May 16, 2015. I move into my first apartment.

It’s cute, and tiny, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I go to sleep that night calm. I am not worried about the future, I am confident about the future.

I don’t have the same feeling as I did my first night at college. I am calm, happy, optimistic, and sure.

Present day: June 14, 2015


I have cosmetology school orientation tomorrow and I can’t freaking wait. All I want to do is meet new people, and make new best friends, and goof off with them, and be the person that my Creator intended for me to be.

The whole point of this post is to basically say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may start off as a pitch, black, scary tunnel, but there is a light.

So whether you’re in the midst of the darkness, seeing the light, or have been in the light for a while now, just know that God didn’t make us to have more bad days than good. He made us to do His work, and use our talents to honor and glorify Him.

He didn’t make us to be scared, depressed people. He loves us too much for us to be anything less than awesome, and glorifying.

I hope you enjoyed this post.

I wanted to give a special thank you to my grandparents, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m not sure I’d be here at all in all honesty. No combination of 26 letters could describe how much I love you, and how grateful I am to have you in my life. Thank you for never once giving up on me, and always encouraging me to follow my dreams.

Have a good night!!

I’ll tell you all about school asap!!